Check out the NEW SITE!!

 A very wise man once said, there is only one thing that is everlasting and that is change, ha! Well, maybe he did not include the ‘ha’, but I will do it since it is such a good saying and has proven itself of being valid for as long as I can remember. And be honest, don’t we encounter change in every day in our lives? As an example, we learned (the hard way) that our job searching approach (we are always nice and polite) is unsuccessful, hence, we change it! And, I ask you, isn’t it so much more refreshing tending a tiny bit more towards borderline aggression? No?! Well, if not, you will change it and BINGO, here we are again: Change!

Talking of changing, if you are curious about how I changed my approach and want to read up on my drop-a-brick-experiences then check out the NEW SITE where you will find me from now on:

 http://univers.uvt.nl/en/

So, hope to see you in a click! =)

Let's see what happens

There are countless ways to pick employees. Here is a revolutionary new way that ensures to pick the absolute right one:

Take the prospective employee and put him in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave him alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what he is doing.

• If s/he has taken the table apart, put him in Engineering.
• If s/he is counting the butts in the ashtray, assign him to Finance.
• If s/he is waving his arms and talking out loud, send him to Consulting.
• If s/he is talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for him.
• If s/he is sleeping, he is Management material (hahaha!!).
• If s/he is writing up the experience, send him to the Technical Documentation team.
• If s/he doesn’t even look up when you enter the room, assign him to Security.
• If s/he tries to tell you it’s not as bad as it looks, put him into Marketing.
• If s/he is wearing green sunglasses and need a haircut, Software is his niche.
• If s/he mentions what a good price we got for the table and chairs, send him to Purchasing.
• If s/he mentions that hardwood furniture does not come from rainforests, Public Relations will suit him well.

Definitely Management Type

Gottcha!

Excitement brushed up to my cheeks when I opened my inbox that faithful morning and saw an e-mail from THE Company. My heart started beating and my fingers slightly trembled with joy as I touched the mouse to move the cursor over the feedback e-mail. As I clicked on the bold letters, the content of the e-mail was revealed to me like a magical secret. This must have been the exact feeling that King Arthur must have had, when he finally held Excalibur in his seeking hands.

I couldn’t believe it. Finally I would get the chance to show my true potential in a personal interview. I could finally earn the recognition I secretly longed for and do my very best for the company of my dreams. Finally, I would see a face to all the names that I got to learn about via e-mail over the last days. I was pure ecstasy.

Unexpected feedback

‘Dear San,

We sincerely appreciate your interest in company and the time taken in speaking with us recently.I recalled the phone interview I have had before and nodded in anticipation. It was indeed a good interview. The HR person and I had shared a few laughs and it seemed all so very promising. My smile got bigger as I read on. After reviewing your profile and interviewing several candidates, wow, I must have made a great impression if they mention the competition I thought, eagerly reading on. the hiring manager has decided to move forward with other candidates … who more specifically fit the profile we are looking for. Say what?!?

Great, it's raining!

Do you know that feeling when a piano drops down on you from the 5th floor? No? Well, this is it!!! Cold disappointment crashed down on me and it felt like drowning in a puddle of question marks. What? How? Why? Say? No? Kidding? April fools? Mix-up? Alternative Reality? Company Espionage? These are the first fragments that shoot in your mind after rereading such an e-mail over again. All the best to you and thanks again for your time.’Yeah, Happy New Year to you too, pal! >=(

I couldn’t believe my eyes. So, I read the e-mail again. And again. And again, again, again and just to make sure one last time. Hm. Strange, they really hadn’t mentioned a time and date for the personal interview at all. You never know. It could be a test. Testing how carefully a candidate reads his or her e-mails and does not simply jump to conclusions.

The rejection response letter

Aw, bloody optimism, I scolded myself. Well, at least I can ask them what they did not find suitable about me, right? I just have to respond in a calm, objective and polite way. And here I would like to give you my dear reader a piece of advice: If you are so incredibly disappointed at a rejection, PLEASE take your time to digest the bad news and write a response mail ONLY after the furious red dots in front of your eyes have disappeared. Trust me the outcome of that certainly passionate e-mail might lack professionalism.

Lesson learned

Don't be blue, your time will come too!

After you have given your best in suppressing your anger, relax and take it easy. There are so many more jobs out there that might fit you even better. Who knows, maybe this was the BEST thing that could have happen to you. You never know that until you move on and that is indeed what you should do immediately after any kind of rejection.

In this regard: Good luck again!

Let's beat the Americans!!!

As a new year’s tradition, an American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on a river. Both teams practiced hard and long all year to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be.

The Japanese team won by a mile.

Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their moral sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of “Executives” was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action.

Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure.

Consulting, consulting, consulting!

After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that “too many people were steering and not enough rowing.” To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was changed to “4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff Steering Manager” and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six sigma performer. “We must give him empowerment and enrichment.” That ought to do it.

The next year the Japanese team won by two miles.

The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the paddles, cancelled all capital investments for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.